Doughnut Dreaming

Imagine you're floating above yourself. You can see yourself, but you can't rationalize with yourself, and you can't stop your actions. You can feel the struggle, and the pain that you are causing yourself, but nothing can stop your behavior.  You want to stop, you want to cry, and you want to take back the last 10 minutes to an hour. But you can't. All that consumes you in that moment is this anxiety and desire to eat every single delicious thing you can find until you truly hate yourself. That's what a binge is...at least for me.  Last time I posted I had mentioned I would explain a "normal" binge for me. Maybe you can identify  (to all my readers...lucky if I have one!), or maybe you aren't sure if you are experiencing the same thing, but I think its helpful to get it out in the universe.  We are never alone in our struggles.  People experience a lot of the things we do, we just tend to think we are at the only ones.  To my knowledge I do

Hey internet, it's been a while.  Seems I blogged for the month October and only the month of October. Let me explain what happened... As you can see my posts were mainly about how I adopted iifym macro practice, and how well it was working for me. Honestly I had seen so much progress and success with this idea of eating for a while.  I thought I have finally gotten myself on a path I was happy and successful with. I thought I had finally beat the binging. Unfortunately that was not the case. In fact right when I stopped blogging is when my binging worked its way back to my life. Correlation? Yes.  How could one write positive messages and healthy eating support, when you are unhappy and can't even control your own eating?! For the months following October, I would eat and eat and eat until I felt sick.  I felt so sick sometimes I could have sworn I was going to die. Every morning I would wake up saying "yesterday was the last day."  So I would restrict all morn